Keyword Searches

I like to look at key word searches that bring people to my blog. Some are surprising, some ridiculous. I would like to take a moment to list some key word searches that have brought people to this blog site, and snarkily answer them. Some might find this post somewhat offensive: don’t say I didn’t warn you. Key word searches are cut and pasted, and in bold. Here we go:

Do black chickens stop witchcraft?

No…but they are mighty tasty.

How wiccan sex pussy

I…don’t even know what that means? Do Wiccan have sex? Most of us do, but you would probably have to go out and take a poll. As to Wiccan pussy? Here ya go!


Why are human birthdays important to Wiccans?

The easy answer here is that we’re human and we like birthdays. I suppose you could look at it as important to astrology and horoscopes, but personally I think we’re just human and like cake and presents. Why are you wasting time on this question?

Where to buy witchballs in South Africa.

Never been to South Africa. No idea.

Wiccan Math

Ummmm…I would refer you to ceremonial magic and sacred geometry. I don’t stand in Circle and work on math problems. Sorry guys.

Wicca is returning to a mystery tradition?

Wicca IS a mystery tradition. To be a Wiccan, you have to be initiated in a tradition. Each tradition has their own mysteries. You can argue with me all you want that you can self initiate, but…I’m not buying it. Go out, find a teacher, work your ass off and learn the actual mysteries of Wicca. It’s sort of the point.

Submitting my soul to a complete witch.

I don’t accept souls. I do accept hard work and dedication. Your soul is your business. If you want to be in the business of souls, go and become Christian.

Pagan devil

Paganism doesn’t have a devil. Get over the devil thing, we aren’t Christians. (Well, unless you’re a Christo-Pagan, but I generally think that’s missing the point on behalf of both Pagan and Christian paths and unfortunately, I think if you’re a practicing Christo Pagan you just don’t have the balls to let go of your old religion and work to learn your new one. I know Pagans are cool, but Jesus and Paganism doesn’t mix. Go read the Bible. If you want Jesus, practice Jesus’ teachings the way he lays them out.)

Was Joan of Arc a Wiccan?

Are you f*cking kidding me? She’s a Catholic Saint. She was sent by God to liberate France. She was burned as a heretic. Where in any of this does it even give a hint of St. Joan being Pagan? Joan was sort of the ultimate Catholic.

Evil Pagan Gods

In general, Paganism doesn’t do good and evil. I can’t speak for every tradition, but in Wicca, good and evil aren’t a consideration. Evil is man made. We certainly have our trickster gods and there are certainly gods out there that don’t have good intentions for humans, but evil? Again, look to the monotheists for that one.

Can you be a watcher (wiccan)?

Quit watching Buffy. Giles is awesome, but I’m sorry to tell you, he’s not real.

Wiccan Nuns

Don’t exist.

Pagan Wife

Is this like the real housewives thing? Pagan wives are like any other wives. This is like the sex thing, go out and meet a few.


I know the internet is a strange place, but seriously people….if you want porn, go Google porn. You won’t find any here.

One thought on “Keyword Searches

  1. Jayde-Ashe says:

    I love reading through the keyword searches too, they are hilarious! There are some great ones here!

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