Seeking a Craft Teacher

I recently came across a blog in which an Elder was ranting about current students. The jist of her rant seemed to be “In the Good Old Days, I walked barefoot up a snowy mountain both ways for the beatings that I was grateful to receive”. This blog upset me for several reasons. Anyone seeking traditional teaching is in for a whole lot of hard work, transformation, grief and yes, even possibly pain. It is definitely not a path for just anyone, and a lot of people who seek it will drop out when the going gets tough. It is not easy, it is not without tears; essentially, expect to work your ass off. Traditional Craft training will eat up a good portion of your life and you should expect to agree to do what your teacher asks of you.

But…there seems to be some confusion out there about what is acceptable behavior from a traditional Craft teacher and what is not.

So, what should you look for when seeking a “traditional” Craft teacher? Once you’ve found someone you think you want to work with, what are the things you should think about and consider?

Doreen Valiente

Things to do:

Verify that this person is who they say they are! Do I mean ask for their driver’s license and birth certificate? No. Ask, what is this person’s lineage or the training that certifies them as a teacher of the Craft? If you’ve approached someone claiming to be from a tradition, such as Gardnerian or Alexandrian, they should be able to tell you their lineage and how to contact the person who initiated them for verification. If this person has not been initiated into a particular tradition, they should be able to tell you where they got their training. Always be wary of a teacher who won’t give you their background. Why is this even important? Because for one thing, if the person is lying about the tradition they teach and practice, they’re bound to lie about other things too; for another, if you get an initiation, you will be part of that tradition, and you should know what the tradition is and how it is regarded by the Craft community. You should only ask this if you’re in a serious discussion with the person about being trained. It is considered extremely rude to ask someone for their lineage otherwise. Lineage is an extremely personal thing in most traditions. Most people don’t announce their lineages in public, but they will happily tell you what tradition they are initiated in. Watch out for someone who won’t tell you what tradition they are a teacher of. If you wander up to a Craft teacher and randomly demand their lineage, they’re probably going to tell you where to stick it.

If someone tells you that they learned things from reading a book, this is not someone who has earned the title of Craft teacher. If that’s all you want, go read the books for yourself. You can find them all on Amazon, in a Barnes and Noble, or in a local occult shop. (Support your local shops if you can people!)

Talk to this person’s other students, if they have any. What do they say about this teacher? Most groups will invite you to meet up with them if you are interested in joining. If you’re approaching a traditional group, the teacher will probably have someone from their lower degrees or outer court answer basic questions for you. This is to help that student learn how to talk to other people about the Craft and it’s also to help you get a better perspective on the teacher and the group that you are asking to join. Covens, traditional and non-traditional, become family. They won’t accept just anyone and neither should you. If you meet up with a group and you’re not clicking with it, this is probably not the teacher you should go with.

Talk to students who have either hived from the original group or who have left the group. Are there hard feelings? Did the person leave because it was time for them to start their own group or was there a reason that they couldn’t work with the old group anymore? Just because a student leaves for personal reasons doesn’t mean that they are bad reasons. Many students do not make it to initiation, that doesn’t mean there has to be hard feelings left over. People will report their experiences, good and bad.

What does the rest of the Craft community in the area say about this teacher? Teachers usually gain reputations in the community they work in and it can tell you a lot about the person as well. Stop in your local occult shops and ask around. People are usually willing to let you know about any personal prejudices they have before expounding on their opinion on the person. Having access to the internet is also useful these days. Usually teachers are involved in a lot of others things and you can find their personal blogs, pages, ect., online. Check those out and see if this person is talking about things that you can agree with or sound reasonable.

What does the rest of the teacher’s life look like? Are they productive? Are they doing things that you would support? Or, are they doing things that you wouldn’t support, such as sitting on the couch and watching TV all day? A respectable Craft teacher is not only going to be fully involved in the Craft, they will also have a healthy, balanced life away from the Craft.

Ask what the teacher’s expectations for their students are. Most groups will have a course of study mapped out and will readily explain what is expected of you. They may not give you details until after you’re dedicated to their group, but they should clearly tell you what they expect from you as a student.

In my tradition, students aren’t just expected to do the work towards initiation or elevation. They are expected to help out with anything Craft related. You might be asked to assist in keeping the temple room clean or in bringing food for a feast and then helping in cleaning up afterwards. You are expected to show up to classes and rituals and other outings as discussed. You will be expected to read a lot and do other homework assignments. And this is just some of the mundane work involved!

They should also tell you upfront if there are any costs associated with studying under them. Different traditions approach this differently. In traditional Wicca, a teacher should not ask you to pay them for teaching the Craft. They might, however, ask you to donate money towards supplies or a space if they don’t have one to teach from. Some covens have a schedule of dues to provide for supplies like candles and incense. This is also something that you need to take into consideration. Is money something that you are willing to give and if so, how much? Do the costs sound reasonable? Do some basic research on that specific path and see if asking for money is accepted by the larger tradition.

Janet and Stewart Farrar

Things to avoid:

If a teacher can’t answer “Why” questions. If you ask a question and the teacher tells you “because that’s how it’s always been done”, this is probably not a great teacher. A teacher should always be able to give you the background on something. They might tell you that you can’t learn the answer behind something until after initiation, or that it is an oathbound answer, but even with an answer like that, there is probably some background info that they can give you. They should also be able to give you the answer as to why this isn’t something that won’t be taught until later. In Blue Star we say “if a student can phrase the question they deserve an answer.” This is good Craft policy: “Because I say so” is not!

Manipulation or coercion in any form is never acceptable.

Asking you, the student, to buy them things like nice dinners out, or giving them money for their living costs. I know of several “teachers” who have their students pay into their rent and utilities. This goes with the question of what is this teacher doing with their life. Since most teachers don’t accept money for teaching the Craft, they need to be able to support themselves in other ways. Expecting your students to do this for you is a big no-no in the community. I heard of one teacher who made their students take them to McDonalds for dinner for ritual. Does this seem like a normal thing to you?

Expecting you to come and mow their lawn or clean their house. They should be able to scrub their own toilets. It’s one thing to ask students to assist in keeping sacred spaces clean, this is probably a part of your training; it’s entirely different if they expect you to come and take care of their daily life for them.

If a teacher expects you to have sex with them, they should be avoided at all costs. Sex can be a completely sacred act, but it should never be used to reach a new elevation or to get recognition in the group. Most groups I know won’t even practice Skyclad in the Outer Court. While you can have completely healthy sexual relationships within your coven or with your teacher, any teacher that asks you to keep quiet about a sexual relationship or expects it in return for teaching is crossing a huge line of ethics. Most teachers will not sleep with a student without a prior relationship already established. Most teachers will also not sleep with a student who is not an initiate: this is so that no doubt can fall on the reason for the student’s initiation.

Being punished in a physical or humiliating way is not OK. The scourge sits on the altar for a reason and many traditions use it…but never to punish someone for giving the wrong answer. The scourge has many different uses, most of which you won’t learn until you are initiated, but it is not a tool that is used lightly or for punishment in the outer court. If a teacher mocks you or humiliates you for not knowing something, you should also look elsewhere. It’s one thing to have a light chuckle over an answer, it’s quite another to call someone stupid over and over. (I’ve heard some horror stories…)

More Janet and Stewart

At the end of the day, the most important aspect of any teacher of the Craft is respect. Do you respect this teacher and do they in return respect you and your needs? The Craft is a hard enough path for those of us that seek it that we shouldn’t be worried about how our teachers are treating us while we are working our way through it. Respect has to be earned by anyone, and teachers of the Craft are no exception. If someone gives you the heebie jeebies, if you curl your lip at their personal habits, if the things they do to you in Circle make you wonder if their behavior is acceptable…it probably isn’t. Don’t let someone treat you badly in the name of teaching you the Craft. It’s one thing to expect hard work and dedication; it’s quite another to make light of what you’re going through as you do it.

If you want to read the original Elder Rant, go here.

Right and Wrong in the Pagan Community

My partner just wrote a blog for Pagan Square (which you can find here) about the history of the phrase “in perfect love and perfect trust”.

On Facebook, when Witches and Pagans posted the article, someone commented:

I found this comment to be more than a little ridiculous because the whole article is explaining the context of  how the phrase “in perfect love and perfect trust” was originally used and why it might be inappropriate when taken out of its original context. There was no militant Wiccan laws or judgements…just a “hey, this phrase isn’t talking about what you think its talking about, you might want to think about what you’re really asking about when you use it”, especially when you are interacting with people of many different Pagan backgrounds who will take it in many different ways.

But it also brought up a few things that I’ve been thinking about lately.

In the Pagan community, there is a blanket understanding that no one’s particular beliefs are “wrong”. And this in and of itself is great.

But this idea of no belief is wrong tends to lead to the idea that you can’t be wrong about anything. That if you tell someone that they are “wrong”, you become a negative and hateful person. People ask you why can’t you just live and let live? When you tell someone they’re wrong you become a rigid fundamentalist who is trying to force your way on everyone around you. I’ve seen this thrown at a great many respected priests and priestesses over the last few weeks.

I am baffled by this idea. Would you stand up in your college physics class and tell your professor that he knows nothing and how dare he try to tell you that for every action, there is not an equal and opposite reaction? Or argue with a math teacher that 2 + 2 does not = 4? Or would you go out, get your degree, go and find some practical experience and then come up with valid and logical theory that you then continue to experiment with for why these things are not actually the case?

I know, I know…religion is not science or math. Religious practice does not usually have the same straightforward sort of answers.

Or does it…?

But sometimes there are some pretty straightforward answers. Not everything in the Craft is a great mystery of the Goddess or God that everyone needs to find a different path to. The example of what a Pentacle is from my last blog is a good example of this.

There are a great many people in the Pagan community who are trained and experienced priests and priestesses in all the many and varied traditions and groups that make up the Pagan umbrella. There are basic ideas and practices that have a “right” and “wrong” way of being done that these people usually spend countless amounts of time learning and then perfecting. It might vary by group or tradition, but you can actually be a Pagan and do something the wrong way!

I know, take a minute, sit down, deep breath…process that idea. I know, I know…it’s upsetting.

While you’re “refusing to be restricted by some rigid doctrine”, you’re also refusing to take the time to sit down and learn the history and background of what you’re doing. In my tradition, while you’re being taught and guided through the various initiatory levels, we talk a lot about how certain things are done within the tradition. When you get your initiation and hive off (3rd degree for hiving in my tradition), you then have the choice to change things, because it’s understood that in gaining that degree you have the proper background, instruction and understanding of how things have been done, to change them if you choose. Essentially, your learning is recognized as being enough to help these practices evolve into something new and possibly better. You’ve been given a diploma and told to go do your own experiments.

Just because your beliefs are personal, does not mean that everything else gets to be a free for all.

I’ve seen this a lot lately in comments on my own blog…the “Oh, don’t judge, live and let live, we’re all different and special“. Ummmm….actually, sometimes you are wrong. And it’s one thing to just be wrong about one thing or idea, but it becomes a whole ‘nother ball of wax when your lack of background, history and experience shoves you over into being unethical with overall ideas. In my last blog I wrote about a group who is claiming to teach Wicca and who are charging for their teaching. This is a pretty standard taboo across the board. I know of a few Wiccan groups who charge, but they will sit you down and explain to you why. While I don’t agree with them, they are upfront about what they are doing. This is the sort of area where “live and let live” gets people into trouble and sets up the possibility of abuse. I see charging students over a thousand dollars for initiation as a scam. These people are not learning Wicca, they are being fleeced.

I also think this gets to the heart of the current polytheist and humanist Pagan debate that has been raging through the Pagan blogosphere lately. As soon as someone with initiations and real training starts talking about why things have been done a certain way, people have started throwing around the term “fundamentalist”. When you start calling a group “rigid” and start throwing around the word “fundamentalist” at people who have gone through many long hours, days, and years of study on mythology, ritual, practice and interacting with a gods because they tell you that you’re doing something incorrectly, there’s a much larger issue going on. It’s one thing to say, “hey, I disagree with you, here’s why” and to start a discussion, it’s something completely different to instead say “you’re a fundamentalist and everything that is wrong with the world today” instead. This is not constructive debate.

For those who are all about the Paganism that is learned from a book…think of it like this. When you read a book and the author makes a claim, you check that the author has cited a source for why this claim is valid. These sources are the previous arguments that the current argument is built around. When you’re writing a book or paper, you, as the author, have the responsibility to prove that your ideas have a basis in other, proven, ideas. (And trust me, as someone who is currently publishing a book, editors are sticklers for these sorts of details even if you forget them!) Our trained priests and priestesses are our sources. Think about it, when you come across someone who is claiming they are a priest and priestess, but can’t give you any reasons why they are a priest and priestess other than that they decided to claim that title, do you respect their “wisdom” in teaching you what they don’t know?

Just because Paganism becomes an umbrella term and you may say, “well…I’m not Wiccan” or “I’m not a polytheist”, it doesn’t negate Craft teaching by people who are and have a great deal more training and experience in all areas of the Craft. Paganism does not mean whatever we want it to mean; there are actually some definitions out there that are relevant and important to anyone who is using them. If you want to go out and find real training and then debate the merit of these terms and ideas, have at, but quit reverting to name calling when someone points out the fact that you’re incorrect. While you may not like it, name calling only proves that you’ve already lost the argument.

Unselfish

Yesterday in the midst of reading about CNN’s blunder in their handling of the Steubenville rape case, I was caught up in an unexpected argument at work. The argument was over whether or not women who choose not to have children are “selfish”. Apparently I, as a young woman, am extremely selfish for living a fulfilling life without children.

The expectation that women will and should have children is omnipresent in our culture. It is even seen in the often fiercely feminist Pagan community. I especially see it in the triple Goddess concept of Maiden, Mother, Crone. (This is especially poignant because this conception of the Triple Goddess is not an element of classical myth; it was born of the Feminist Goddess movement of the 1970s).

By Steeringfornorth

This idea is wrapped around the assumption that a woman’s worth is characterized by her reproductive abilities; that the three stages of maiden (before childbirth), Mother (in the midst of birthing and raising children), and Crone (the inability to have children any longer) are the stages that define a woman. It is as if there are no other important parts to a woman’s life.

The sad part is, we don’t even seem to be realizing we’re doing it.

I am none of the above and I have no plans to procreate in the foreseeable future. I do, however, think about it a lot. The other day my partner asked me why (with a slight hint of panic in his eye), but my generation stands at the precipice of a new way of thinking, and the decision to have children is no longer an easy one. Today, we have the choices, but we are also still pressured to conform to the ways of a thousand generations of our ancestors: ancestors who did not have easily obtained birth control, and who could devote their lives to being in the home, raising children.

I am a fully independent being whose self worth is not tied up in my potential to bear children. I am lucky enough to live in an age of science, and to experience the most freedom we, as women, have ever enjoyed. While there are those out there who are fighting to take that away from us, our right to choose is one of the most powerful rights we have in the sovereignty of ourselves.

The power to choose is also one of the most significant that we, as witches, have.

The phrase, “Witch, know thyself” says it all.

My energies lie elsewhere: in my partner, in my coven, in my new priestesshood, in my writing, in my career, in my graduate work, and none of these things would be possible if I were to choose to have children right now and devote myself to their care.

I am not “selfish” for choosing differently. If feminism did nothing else, it gave me the right to choose how to handle my body and my family making decisions. The fact that I hear this mainly from other women is one of the worst parts about the whole thing.

We need to come up with new concepts of what characterizes womanhood. We need to reach beyond the archetype of the triple goddess and embrace new ideas of what women are and what their possibilities can be. While the triple goddess may be an easy archetype to grasp, we are more than that. My Lady is more than that. The Craft that I practice is about more than that.

I am not “selfish”; I am a witch who is here to help reshape the world. Whether I decide to create life has no bearing or relevance on my place in that unfolding reality.